Positive Discipline Makes You A Better Parent

Positive Discipline is a very powerful way to teach children to be responsible.   One of its side benefits is that it makes you a better parent.  Yes, I am referring to how it makes you more effective and how you become more skilled at getting your children to cooperate.  Jane Nelsen's work teaches that.  But primarily, I have found that Positive Discipline also gives you an opportunity to grow your character and become a better parent and person.

Positive Discipline helps you be more loving and patient.

I believe that all parents love their kids.  Sometimes that love gets strained when kids misbehave.  Positive Discipline teaches that a misbehaving child is a discouraged child.  Read that again slowly.  How does it feel?  As a parent, I have wondered if my child had malicious intent.  When I think that thought, I become angry and vengeful.  I start having feelings I don’t want to have as a parent because they lead to more angry and vengeful situations.  When I think of my child as being discouraged, I feel compassion.  It softens my heart.  It makes me more loving and patient.  It keeps me in line with my parenting intentions, so I don’t do things I regret later.  This method of child discipline keeps you grounded in love.  When you come from love, you are coming from the most powerful position on the planet.  It is a pure and noble position of strength.  Your children will feel it, and more importantly, you will feel it.

Positive Discipline clarifies your intention.

My intention was to have positive, successful, responsible kids.  So I wanted a way of disciplining children that would help me create that result.  To achieve a particular result, you must be clear about what you want, and then follow a plan to get there.  It helps when other people have walked that path before you and can teach you how to create that result.  When I first heard about Positive Discipline, I thought to myself, I want positive kids, so Positive Discipline sounds like a match.  As I studied, and more importantly, applied Positive Discipline, I found that it was a match.  I felt great using its methods.  It felt great knowing that what I was doing was designed for a positive outcome.  Just having a name for what you are doing helps you to be clear about your intention.  Your kids are relying on you to be clear so that you can support their growth and development.

If you would like to know more about Positive Discipline and how it aligns with being a Present Parent, where you are fully present for and with your kids, just fill in the box in the upper right corner of this page.

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Parents Help Children Get Ready For Kindergarten

How can you help your child get ready for kindergarten?  Barbara Allisen has the answer.  I had a chance to chat with Barbara, a kindergarten teacher, author, and speaker.  She helps parents and care givers support children ages 0-6 years old to be powerful learners.

We had a wonderful conversation about how kids can get ready for kindergarten, and I came home with an autographed copy of her book, 123 Kindergarten.  Thank you, Barbara, for your generosity!

What Does It Take To Be Ready For Kindergarten?

It turns out that being ready for kindergarten is not about knowing your letters and numbers.  It is about inspiring a love of learning, curiosity, and confidence in our children.  The heavy push for academics and scholarly settings for preschool may have some fans, but remember that success and being ready for kindergarten, and then eventually college, is most closely correlated with a love of learning, knowing how to learn, and confidence in their ability to learn.

In her book, Barbara talks about self-help skills and emotional readiness, communication skills and language readiness, social skills, physical development, and academic readiness.  There is quite a bit involved in being ready for kindergarten.

Barbara has a host of resources to help parents help children to be ready for kindergarten.  Her website is 123Kindergarten.com, and every day on her blog, she posts a “Play of the Day”.  For those of us (meaning me) who are play-challenged, the “Play of the Day” is a great head start.  She also has a Radio Show on Mondays at noon Eastern called “Learn and Play with Mrs. A” on the Rockstar Radio Network.

I recorded a short video with Barbara so you can get a sense of her passion and spirit.  She wears her mission on her sleeve, literally.  Well, actually it’s not on her sleeve, but on her clothing.  You will see ABCs and 123s on her apparel because she is a living, breathing testament to success and being ready for kindergarten.  Those letters and numbers are also an invitation to parents to engage her in conversation about this topic which is so important to her.  She wants every child to succeed and is giving parents and care givers the tools to support them.

The tools are there for you.  Give your children what they need to be ready for kindergarten.

To get access to parenting resources, to find out how to be ready for kindergarten or to increase your presence as a parent, just fill in the box in the upper right corner.  We wish you all the best in your journey as a parent.

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Entrepreneur Moms Meet Up

One of the best things about attending professional conferences is meeting great people.  I realize that moms meet up with many different people, but when two entrepreneurial moms meet up, magic happens.
One amazing mom entrepreneur is Martha Sanchez, radio personality and speaker.  Her radio show, KnowTheRadioShow.com, is on Tuesday at 7:00 pm Eastern, and she is committed to empowering women one topic at a time.

Martha has had a wide variety of guests on her show.  She covers many different business topics, and she also touches on other aspects of a mom’s busy life, including fitness and life balance.  She specializes in taking mommies to moguls, helping moms to experience their creative power and financial independence by taking the passion in their hearts by taking it to the market place.  She makes sure that moms meet up with other moms to support their dreams.

When Entrepreneur Moms Meet Up, What Do They Do?

 Get Contact Information

The first thing Martha and I did was exchange business cards.  We were both coming back from a break, and I overheard her talking about her business, her radio show, and her work to empower moms.  I knew that she was someone I wanted to know more about.  The break was just about over, and we were being called back into the meeting room to take our seats.  I wanted to make sure I didn’t lose track of her among 400 other people.  I approached her and asked for her business card.  This way I knew that even if we didn’t get to connect at the event, I could reach out to her afterward.

Acknowledge Each Other

The next day of the conference, I saw her and figured it was a good idea that us moms meet up.  I found her during a break and quickly struck up a conversation.  I made sure I acknowledged her.  We were both entrepreneurs following our passion and purpose.  We were both moms helping moms.  How could I not acknowledge her?  She received that gracefully.  Then she said she liked my outfit.  It felt synergistic to be in the presence of a confident, purpose-driven, like-minded person.

Help Each Other

Knowing that my clients appreciate resources like Martha and her radio show, I quickly recorded a video interview with her.  With the video posted on my blog and YouTube channel, we both benefit.  Who knows what other opportunities there may be to work together and share our messages to a broader audience.

Exciting things happen when moms meet up, especially when they have a lot in common.  If you would like to know more about how being an entrepreneur helps you be more present for your children, please fill in the box in the upper right of this page.

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One of My Recommended Parenting Websites - Parenting 2.0

I was searching for parenting websites when I discovered the LinkedIn Parenting 2.0 Group.  When the group’s name flashed up as a search result, it resonated with me instantly and piqued my curiosity.  I clicked over to see what the top ranked parenting group on LinkedIn was all about.
Not only were they an active online community, but I was excited to find that they were also having a conference, Parenting 2.0 Talks, in San Diego.  I wanted to be a part of it.  I reached out to my contracts to put me in touch with Parenting 2.0.org’s Founder, Marlaine Cover also known as Mama Marlaine.
In our first conversation, we hit it off.  We talked about the cacophony of life skills educators and parenting websites that were so valuable but yet unheard.  We hoped to find a way for educators to link arms to reach people more effectively with the resources and skills they needed and wanted for raising the next generation.
When we met for Parenting 2.0 Talks, it was eye-opening.  I was amazed to learn from many powerful, passionate life-skills educators who were both united by mission and vision yet uniquely equipped and specialized.  I was delighted to share my teachings with them as well.  We all spoke the same language of transforming the world through the advancement of life skills in our homes and communities.

One Among Many Parenting Websites

When I founded Present Parent Training, I was the only one in my circle, in my entire network, teaching empathy, non-judgment, non-violent communication, prosperity consciousness, life skills, and life mastery.  While I am still the only one that does it in my voice, in my style, and based on my experience, I now know that I am not alone in wanting to change the world, starting with myself and my kids.  I am one among many parenting websites who are uniquely sharing the same vision.
Parenting 2.0’s humanitarian arm is the Global Presence, a growing community of not just educators, but everyone who wants to make a difference in the life of a child.  I am honored to be a Founding Member of this beautiful organization.  If you are serious about equipping kids with the life skills they need to succeed, then take the Global Presence Pledge.
The Global Presence Pledge:
I pledge to be the change I wish to see in the world.
I pledge to celebrate diversity and nurture community.
I pledge to think globally and serve locally.
I pledge to nurture peace in homes and between nations.
I pledge patience and optimism with myself and others as we learn to thrive individually and commune optimally.
I pledge to own my role in raising future generations.
I pledge to respect the fragility and dignity of my planetary home.
I pledge to honor the divine wisdom of myself and others.
I pledge to support the Global Presence Community in thought, word and deed.
I pledge humility in my role as a member of The Global Presence.
I pledge gratitude for the opportunity to link arms with others in service to humanity.

If you are interested in taking your parenting to the next level and learning about more empowering life skills educators and parenting websites, please fill in the box in the upper right corner of this webpage.  We look forward to raising humanity collectively and consciously!

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Kids LA Marathon and Communicating with Children about Winning

About the Kids LA Marathon

Our eight year-old son ran in the annual Rod Dixon’s KidsMarathon at Dodger Stadium along with 5,000 other Los Angeles Unified School District elementary students.  He won!  So did the 5,000 other students.  The theme was “Finishing is winning.  Winning is finishing.”
The event was a one mile run.  Hey, we were not about to subject these 2^nd, 3^rd and 4^th graders to anything like next week’s LA Marathon.  How does one mile equal a marathon?  All week, they have been running at their home schools, racking up over 25 miles, and this was their final mile out of the 26.2.  It was run in grand style, covered by network news, and celebrated with cheers, beautiful replica medals, and goodie bags.

Communicating with Children About Winning

My primary intention was for my son to practice being a good sport, and secondly, to have fun.  Then, it struck me.  What would it mean to him, or to me, if he actually won? What parent wouldn’t want their child to win the Kids LA Marathon?
I took a minute to assess whether my son actually had a chance of winning.  He is an excellent runner.  His coach told me that she has to tell him to stop running because he enjoys it so much.  He says he is one of the fastest runners at school.
On the way to the race, I entertained thoughts of him leading the pack and crossing the tape.  That was until we hit four lanes of bumper to bumper traffic entering the stadium.  The masses of people jarred me back to reality.  We parked.  Then checked in.  Then we waited.
We decided to interview our young athletes.  They were excited.  We wanted to plant that seed and introduce the possibility of winning.  We asked them what their strategy was for winning.  At that point, the coach interrupted with “Finishing is winning.  Winning is finishing.”  We planted another seed and asked if they were going to finish strong.  Yes!  We asked if they would help their teammates finish strong together.  Yes!  We asked if they would do their best.  Yes!  They were all smiles.  They were ready.
As the students were lining up at the starting line, track and field champions greeted and encouraged them.  The opening ceremony was thrilling.  Finally the first wave of students, fourth graders, took their marks.  Then, the race was on, and a flood of a thousand kids in their white Kids LA Marathon shirts took off.  It felt like the biggest race of the year.

Winning Phrases

The first kids crossed the finish line.  They were really amazing.  I yelled out, "You're awesome!"  Then I caught myself.  In the heat of the moment, evaluative praise had leaked from my lips.  That was not how I wanted to be communicating with children.
I became conscious and chose my words deliberately.  Instead of rewarding them with evaluative praise like "good job," "you're such a good runner," or "I'm proud of you," I chose phrases like:

• "That was so fast!"
• "That took a lot of power!"
• "You did it!"
• "Congratulations!"
• "Yay!" "Wow!"  "Woohoo!"

Communicating with children this way builds internal motivation.  It helps children reflect on their own accomplishments, what it took to achieve what they did, and what their accomplishments and efforts mean to them.  Contrast that with praise (verbal doggie biscuits) that has kids looking externally to their parents or coaches for validation that they did well, that they are good enough.  Even though the parents around me chuckled and gave me quizzical looks when I said the first two phrases, I didn't care.  I knew I was speaking the language of winners.

I hope this article about the Kids LA Marathon and Communicating with Children about winning was helpful to you.

If you would like to learn more about communicating with children in an empowering way, please enter your name and email in the box in the upper right corner of this page to receive my Present Parent Special Report.

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Love Extravagantly While Disciplining Children

In this season of love, I encourage you to love your children extravagantly. By that, I don’t just mean being generous in giving gifts, words, time, acts, or cuddles as you are able. I mean love extravagantly with your commitment to disciplining them. What does love have to do with disciplining children? Everything!

Discipline originally meant “instruction given to a disciple”. Its modern meanings include “training to act in accordance with rules,” and “activity, exercise, or a regimen that develops or improves a skill.” In the parenting context, discipline often means punishment, but it doesn't have to. The best discipline instructs a child to reflect on her behavior and decide for herself how to make an adjustment for more desirable result. It is teaching, not telling, prompting, not punishing, that leads a child to govern themselves.

Loving extravagantly while you discipline, teach, and empower your child makes you more successful as a parent. Here’s how:

1. Love Keeps You Calm Thomas Jefferson said, “Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.” When my child is having a meltdown, it does not help for me to have a meltdown right beside her. Your child is looking for ways to manage her emotions. Having a trusted adult demonstrating calm, compassionate, unshakable love and empathy is reassuring and gives them a safe center to come back to after the emotions are worked out. You can teach most effectively when you both are calm.

2. Love Keeps You Focused On Your Intention In the heat of the moment, you might react from fear of danger, fear of other people’s opinions, or fear of what your child’s future might be. Imagine your child is not coming when called, not eating their food, or hitting a sibling. You could react, but when your intention is to be a balanced, Present Parent, you can avoid the extremes of Authoritarian Parenting and Permissive Parenting. Love can remind you to be both kind and firm as you guide your child to a better outcome.

3. Love Attracts More Love When you are committed to loving extravagantly, you cannot help but attract more love and cooperation into your life. Could you use a little more love and cooperation? All day long, parents give love, but when your little one won’t get into the car seat, you become frustrated and stop giving love. You love again, but when she keeps kicking your seat with her muddy feet, you get angry and stop giving love. You make it to the store, but she starts wailing for candy, and you stop giving love because you feel ashamed.

Recognize when you stop giving love and immediately decide that you will love extravagantly, even in the face of irritation, anger, embarrassment, even physical pain. This is the essence of what I mean by loving extravagantly. Love your child. Love your life. Love every minute of being a parent. You will attract a more loving and wonderful life, and you will attract more cooperation and self-discipline from your child.

Here’s how to create the habit of loving extravagantly. You choose to. It’s that simple, so I’ll say it again. You choose to. You decide to love extravagantly. You decide to give love and loving treatment, even in the face of ill treatment. If you are easily triggered, it is important that you perk up your senses and start listening to your conscience. It is always speaking to you, but it whispers, so you might not easily hear it. It always alerts you with a moment of consciousness, of love, right before you blow up. You get to choose to ignore it or let it guide you. So let it guide you toward love.

As Jane Nelsen says in Positive Discipline, “People do better when they feel better.” Would you like to do better? Would you like your children to do better? Then discipline/teach your children from loving intention. By engaging with consistent boundaries rooted in extravagant love, you take Authoritative Parenting to its next iteration.

How will you love extravagantly today? Please comment below and share the love by passing this along to others.

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Peace, Practice, and Passion on the Playground

At the playground, my almost three year old toddler girl found an apparatus she had never encountered. It was a series of six poles, each with a small circular platform to step on, secured to the ground with a chain that gave it just enough sway to feel unstable.

On her first effort, she proceeded with caution. She made it to the second platform, but an older boy was coming the other way very quickly. He excitedly yelled, “get out of the way!” I wondered what my daughter would do. Without much thought, she lightly went back to the beginning. The boy passed and went onto something else, and my daughter got back on and continued on her way. It was easily resolved. My friend remarked how we would have peace in the world if everyone could work together that well.

I wondered what area my daughter would move on to next. She didn’t. She turned around and got back on again and again and again. She was going for mastery. I wondered how much more might we accomplish when we focus on mastering what we already know instead of quickly jumping to the next new method.

When it was time to go, she cried. She was having fun and was not ready to leave. When we are doing what we love, we won’t want to stop. We will be emotionally connected to what drives us to make a huge impact in the world. If some days you need to be physically removed from the good you are doing, you know you are on track.

Are you as peaceful, practiced, and passionate as your kids?

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