Welcome The New Year By Clearing Out Clutter

Some families felt an economic pinch this year and are wondering if the New Year will be any better. I am so grateful that I experienced growth in 2012 in my business, closer relationships, fun adventures, all with surprising life balance. It was our most prosperous year yet.

While there are many ways to bring about a financial turnaround in your life, you want to start with the basics. One fundamental way you can bring more success into your life is to Clear Out Clutter. This is a very simple thing to do, so simple that you might even shrug it off. Don’t get taken out that easily. Welcome your prosperity, and play with this powerful practice.

How successful do you feel when your house or office is a mess? That mess is a reflection of what is going on inside your head. The cool thing is that it’s a two-way street. When you tidy up in your physical world, you create calm and confidence within. You also bring more harmony to your family life and relationships. Can clearing out clutter actually do that? Yes!

Releasing clutter can be challenging, especially if you have had a significant loss in your life. People who have had a major loss, tend to hold on more tightly. This is a process of trust, in God and in yourself. Clutter is anything you do not love, use, or anything that does not honor who you are. While it might feel like you are in a better position because of all the stuff you have, think of all the extra mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical weight you are carrying because of it. It may have served a purpose before. Ask yourself does it serve a purpose now?

As you release clutter, it may make things easier to think of it as adding to another person’s prosperity. I recently went through my home and released another few bags of clothes, toys, and linens. I felt happy to give what I had to charity and then to experience the lightness and space and ease at home.

If you want to take things a step further, you can intentionally prepare your space to receive more blessings. If you want nice clothes, make sure there is space in your closet and drawers for them. If you want more clients, prepare your files. As you are doing so, imagine what it would feel like to already be that successful, and let that feeling linger.

The New Year is as good a time as any to get your affairs in order. I encourage you to do so, joyfully! Clear out the clutter, make room for everything you want in life, and have the best year ever!

Read More

Authoritative Parenting – Success With Authoritative Parenting

Authoritative Parenting is one of three parenting styles identified by developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind from her 1960s research on preschool-age children and their families.

This parenting style has clear behavioral expectations and boundaries, considers a child’s emotional needs, and communicates in a rational way that teaches instead of threatens. Children who are raised by authoritative parents are more likely to be responsible, well-behaved, academically successful, and socially accepted.

Authoritative parenting is a great illustration of the success principle of choosing “both” instead of “either/or”, and opening up to abundance. You may be familiar with the other two parenting styles. On the strict side is authoritarian parenting, which tends to hold high expectations and demand blind obedience from their children. On the other end is permissive parenting which is very responsive to children yet places few demands or controls on them and neglects opportunities for guidance.

While Authoritative Parenting is often described as a middle ground between those extremes, it’s not. When it comes to parenting, the middle is not a place of advantage. It’s a vague, iffy place that could go either way depending on the circumstances.

I see Authoritative Parenting as incorporating the best of the other two styles and standing proudly with both. The authoritative parent is both warm and firm at the same time. She nurtures her child’s mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical development, but she’s no pushover. She holds the boundaries of safety, social norms, and family values with the strength and dignity that comes from loving intention, instead of reacting from anger, shame, or fear. She turns mistakes into teachable moments, even when she is exhausted, and it would be easier to ignore it or just do it herself. This is a balanced, grounded, proactive style that is willing to put time, energy, and attention into raising a responsible child. Authoritative Parenting is not for wimps.

This style reminds me of the Seal of the United States. If you are wondering what the Seal looks like, pull out your wallet. It’s on your money. You will find an eagle holding an olive branch in its right talon and arrows in its left. This symbolizes a desire for peace combined the ability to do whatever it takes to maintain its values and interests.

Not many of us were raised by an authoritative parent, so it may involve some growth and learning to apply this approach with your kids. I knew I had to consciously integrate this style since I tend toward authoritarian. I wanted to choose my parenting style instead of inherit it. I chose to be an Authoritative Present Parent. You have a choice too, and I hope you choose “both” to be successful in your parenting, in your relationships, and in your life.

Read More

Permissive Parenting – Code For “Bad Parenting”?

Permissive Parenting is described as being emotionally connected to a child but not providing clear structure and boundaries. Boundaries are viewed as supportive, even essential, to a child’s development and self-regulation. On the continuum of parenting styles, it takes a democratic stance of equal voice for parent and child, opposite authoritarian parenting which demands blind obedience.

In my experience, Permissive Parenting is also used by non-research-based observers as a label, a criticism, or a verdict. Whenever I hear someone refer to parents as permissive, I can feel the judgment oozing from their lips. It is almost as if they were judging the kids and the parents as “bad”.

It reminds me of a story where a father boards a subway with seven children who are all acting out. When a person asks him to control his children, he apologizes and explains that they are on their way back from the hospital where their mother just died. Would you characterize this father as being a permissive parent?

Whoever is blameless, cast the first stone. Have you ever been too tired correct? Too discouraged to explain? Too angry to respond with empathy? Too sick to help? I have. Before you cast a stone at me, consider how you are in private as well as in public. Things can change very quickly when you don’t have prying eyes to impress.

Still, we as parents bear the responsibility of protection and guidance of our offspring. The boundaries we hold are in three arenas: safety, societal limits, and family values. We click them into their carseats, dress them a certain way, and feed them green smoothies out of love and the most honorable intentions. When we consistently maintain these supportive boundaries and explain why, we also teach our kids to do the same.

Permissive Parenting is a style. If you find that your parenting style is not giving you the results you want, for you or your child, notice where you can be more firm while remaining loving, connected, and kind. The style that incorporates both connection and boundaries is Authoritative Parenting. Being a Authoritative Present Parent means being loving and firm at the same time, as well as being willing to learn and grow to achieve the results you want.

Whatever your parenting style, remember that you have the power to change and create the experience you desire from your role as a parent. May you experience more joy and fulfillment in your parenting journey.

Read More