Parenting 2.0 Gathering On Life Skills - August 20 in Los Angeles

Calling all Life Skills Professionals in Los Angeles, CA! You are invited to attend a Parenting 2.0 Global Presence Ambassador Dinner on August 20.

Parenting 2.0 – Over 3,000 Members in Over 60 Countries

Human development professionals around the world are recognizing the power of linking arms to better support those who are on the front lines raising humanity. It is happening online through Parenting 2.0, LinkedIn’s top ranked parenting group with over 3000 members in over 60 countries. It is also happening in person, and we want to invite you to join the party.

Los Angeles Life Skills Educators Are Invited

Commencing August 16, Global Presence Ambassadors will be hosting Regional Events around the world to unify Life Skills Educators. Are you a Life Skills Professional in the Los Angeles area? Let’s get together! The Los Angeles Regional Gathering is on Tuesday, August 20. Join Parenting 2.0’s Global Presence Ambassadors, Julia Neiman, Douglas Baker, and me for a yummy dinner and a yummy discussion. We want to know who you are, what you do, and what lights you up. We will also share Parenting 2.0′s mission of children’s Life Skills Average one day being as appreciated as their Grade Point Average. We are on the lookout for synergy and are excited about learning from you and finding ways to collaborate. You can’t gather this many high energy visionaries and game-changers in a room without causing a few sparks to fly! Do I hear a bring it on?

How to Register

For more information and to RSVP, please contact me through this link or at (818) 392-8712. I can’t wait to meet you in person!

Be Part of Parenting 2.0's Los Angeles Event for Life Skills Educators

When we collectively move toward a common vision of retiring the passive educational paradigm of children simply “learning what they live” and embrace the wisdom of others (namely your wisdom, you brilliant Life Skills Educators, you), we can make a seismic shift in how we raise humanity. Are you outside the Los Angeles area? Find out if there is a Parenting 2.0 Gathering near you. Parenting 2.0 will be in Los Angeles on August 20. Wanna play?

Read More

Secrets of a Happy Morning Routine For Kids Part 2

Are you wondering how to have an easier morning routine with kids?  I shared some practical parenting tips to get kids out the door and off to school in the morning in an earlier post, Secrets of a Happy Morning Routine For Kids Part 1.  In addition to those strategies, I wanted to share few of my secrets that have made our mornings fun, light, and on time.

My Secrets for a Happy Morning Routine for Kids

1.  Use an Analog Clock with Sticky Notes

Children, especially the younger ones, have a hard time pacing themselves and managing their time because they only live in the present moment.  There is only now, no past or future.  The idea that they need to get ready for school in an hour or less is the furthest from their minds.  Help them to get a sense of time by using an analog clock.  Use sticky notes to mark off when they need to accomplish steps, like 7:15 Wake Up, 7:20 Get Dressed, 7:30 Eat Breakfast, 7:45 Go to the Car.  Use words and pictures to illustrate the steps.  When they lag behind, say “look at the clock.  What does it say?”

2.  Use a Timer

When children are racing the clock, it becomes a game.  When it’s a game it’s more fun.  It’s amazing how quickly kids will move when a ticking timer is going.

3.  Sing

I wake up singing.  My son wakes up singing.  I know where we get it because my mom sings in the morning.  It lightens things up and raises our energy level.  If you are worried that you don’t have a good singing voice, sing anyway.  If you really are feeling insecure about it, then hum.  You will feel happier and more at ease and that happiness will be reflected in your child.

4.  Choose a Theme Song

When we head out the door for school, we have a theme song that we sing.  It’s a modified version of the Black Eyed Peas “I Gotta Feeling”.  We took a little creative license and changed some words.  In essence it goes like:  “I gotta feeling that today’s going to be a good day, that today’s going to be a good day, that today’s going to be a good good day.”  How could you not have a good day after that?

5.  Acknowledge Progress

Be sure to be your own best cheerleader and acknowledge progress.  No matter how slight, progress is progress.  Celebrate your wins.  Let your child know that the family is succeeding.  It reinforces your new pattern of being early in your morning routine for kids.

When you follow these tips, you can create a morning routine for kids that you and your whole family will love waking up to.

If you would like to stay in touch and receive other practical parenting tips, please fill in the box in the upper right hand corner.  You will get immediate access to the Parenting Presence Assessment and a special report to give you a boost.  I wish you all the best in creating a successful morning routine for kids in your home.

Read More

Secrets of a Happy Morning Routine For Kids Part 1

Secrets of a Happy Morning Routine For Kids

Would you like to establish an effective morning routine for kids? Are you frustrated with getting your child ready for school? Do you find yourself nagging and dragging to avoid being tardy?

These practical parenting tips for a happy morning routine are fairly common sense. Having said that, I will be the first to admit that common sense gets overruled by panic when the clock is ticking, and you are afraid of being late. Rushing invites catastrophe mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Instead, play with these practical parenting tips for a smoother, easier morning routine for kids.

Practical Parenting Tips for a Happy Morning Routine for Kids

1.  Assign a Place for School Bags
Reduce stress by knowing exactly where backpacks, lunch boxes, and other school bags go.

2.  Use a Checklist
Have a simple list (with pictures if your child is still learning to read) that your child can reference for what to do to get ready the night before and in the morning.

3.  Pack the Night Before
If it’s not in the bag the night before, it’s not going. You may have to discipline yourself on this one.

4.  Prepare an Outfit the Night Before
It just takes a minute to choose outfits the night before. Take this a step further and set up outfits on Sunday for the whole week.

5.  Agree on a Procedure
Be clear about the procedure to follow to get your desired result. Do this when you are not in a rush. Set the intention to cooperate, be joyful, and be early because it’s better for everyone. Have your child participate in creating the procedure. That makes it easier for him to follow it.

6.  Allow Consequences
I calmly let my son know that I was committed to being on time and would take him to school in his pajamas if he was not dressed. The furthest I got was carrying him to the car and putting his school clothes beside him. He was in his school clothes by the time we got to school.

7.  Hold Your Tongue
Let your actions do the talking. Your lecturing and nagging just gets you all worked up and drains your energy. Decide what you are going to do and follow through without a monologue.

Following these practical parenting tips can make for a smoother morning routine for kids. Give them a try and see what happens.

While these practical parenting tips can help speed you and your child along in the morning, I would also like to share few of my secrets that have made our mornings fun, light, and on time. Check these out in Secrets of a Happy Morning Routine For Kids Part 2.

If you would like to improve your ability to stay present and enjoy your mornings instead of worrying about the future or feeling guilty for not being as prepared as you would like, please fill in the box in the upper right hand corner. You will get immediate access to the Parenting Presence Assessment and a special report to give you a boost. I wish you all the best in creating a successful morning routine for kids in your home.

Read More

How To Maintain Consistent Discipline For Toddlers

As much as I would like to remain consistent, there are times when I want to throw discipline for toddlers out the window. My daughter is three years old, and I am completely enamored by her. I am already noticing her new patterns of crying to get her way, putting her hand on her hip, saying no, and repeatedly asking for what she wants. She is tenacious, tireless, and way too cute, just like every other toddler out there.

I am usually very consistent in using Authoritative Parenting methods.  In the last couple of weeks, we have found ourselves right in the middle of situations where I have given in and let her have her way. I have no regrets, but that could change. Anyhow, I wanted to share these situations with you, just in case you have some of these occasions coming up, so you can be prepared.

The Hardest Times to Maintain Discipline for Toddlers

Holidays

Holidays seem to be more and more commercial, and the candy industry is jumping all over this. We just celebrated Easter, a very solemn and sacred Christian holiday. There was a simpler time when kids got their kicks decorating and dying hard boiled eggs, and going on Easter egg hunts for them. Now, it’s all about the candy-filled plastic eggs.

Birthday Parties

Sugary treats and salty, fatty snacks are abundant at birthday parties. I am not about to make a scene with strict discipline for toddlers while temptation abounds. Also, there are usually favorite toys in high demand. Taking turns is not as democratic when there are several toddlers vying for the same toy. I ran into a standoff or two with my toddler.

Grandma’s House

Grandma’s house, Grandma’s rules. Sometimes that means fairly good discipline for toddlers. Sometimes not. In any case, she’ll never tell, and that’s fine. Grandma’s prerogative.

This all converged with an Easter time birthday celebration at Grandma’s house. It was a triple whammy!  Here’s what we learned so we could maintain consistent discipline for toddlers.

• Have clear expectations, and let your kids know what they are.
• Give yourself permission to not have to be perfect.
• Fill up beforehand with growing food. Remind the kids about healthy choices and have them available. Commit to returning to healthy eating habits afterward.
• Indulge Grandma. She means well. It’s her way of showing love.
• Decide on the appropriate serving size and recommended daily allowance for the candy and hide the rest.
• Let them play outside to burn off the sugar.
• Keep an eye on the kids, and set safety limits. They might not appreciate your stopping their horseplay or protecting their tummies from aching, but draw the line for their good.
• Let kids know what is and is not acceptable behavior and be prepared for outburts affected by the sugar. You might want to have the ear plugs handy.
• Know when to call it a night. Tomorrow is another day.

Discipline for toddlers can be challenging, but you are up to it.  Stay vigilant and consistent. If you do a good job, you might want to reward yourself with a chocolate bunny.

If you would like to learn more about how personal growth can support and encourage you as you follow through with discipline for toddlers, please fill in the box in the upper right of this page. I wish you all the best in your growth as a parent.

Read More

Why Mothers Day Books Are Great Gifts

Mothers Day books are a great gift to give to the moms in your life.  Each year givers are challenged to come up with something special and original to honor their mothers.  It can be a daunting task.  However, giving Mothers Day books is a very effective way to make a great impression.

Mothers Day Books Add Value

First of all, you are giving something of intellectual value.  Mothers Day books are educational, entertaining, inspirational or all of the above.  Non-fiction can be humorous.  Self-help can be encouraging.  Parenting books can be productive.  I personally would lean toward books that are encouraging and inspiring.  Most moms could use a lot more encouragement and inspiration.  Being a mom is one of the hardest jobs on the planet.  For added effect, choose a pretty book with bright feminine colors.  It catches the eye and says “gift” instead of “textbook”.

Mothers Day Books Will Last

Second, giving Mothers Day books will pretty much ensure that you will be remembered for that gift for years to come.  Very rarely do people throw books away.  They also hold up very well compared to flowers and candy.  You also get to inscribe it.

Write something that is personal that really acknowledges the receiver of your gift not just for Mothers Day, not just for being a mom, but for being a great person overall with many different dimensions to her life.  Write a line or two about something specific that you admire about her or that you are especially grateful for.  Close your inscription with love and admiration.  When you sign your name, make sure your name is signed clearly and is easy to read.  A squiggle can be interpreted as a sign of carelessness.  A legible signature demonstrates intention and care.  You definitely want the recipient of your gift to know that you care.

Mothers Day Books Can Be Shared

Lastly, when you give Mothers Day books, you also have the added potential of the book being shared with others.  When that happens, not only will the new readers benefit from the gift you originally gave, the giver also gets to experience the joy of giving.  And because you inscribed it legibly, you get additional credit for giving such a great gift.  Who knows?  It may even become a treasured possession and end up being an heirloom that is passed down to generations.

How To Present Mothers Day Books

To increase the perceived value of Mothers Day books, be sure that you present it appropriately.  Put it in a lovely gift bag with lots of tissue paper.  Handle it with care and be sure to pause, look deeply into her eyes, take a deep breath, smile, and tell her Happy Mothers Day.  Finish the presentation with a hug and kiss.

If you would like to find out more about how to enhance your presence and connection with others, please fill in the box in the upper right of this page.  May you have a great time with your Mothers Day books and a great day celebrating motherhood!

Read More

Positive Discipline Makes You A Better Parent

Positive Discipline is a very powerful way to teach children to be responsible.   One of its side benefits is that it makes you a better parent.  Yes, I am referring to how it makes you more effective and how you become more skilled at getting your children to cooperate.  Jane Nelsen's work teaches that.  But primarily, I have found that Positive Discipline also gives you an opportunity to grow your character and become a better parent and person.

Positive Discipline helps you be more loving and patient.

I believe that all parents love their kids.  Sometimes that love gets strained when kids misbehave.  Positive Discipline teaches that a misbehaving child is a discouraged child.  Read that again slowly.  How does it feel?  As a parent, I have wondered if my child had malicious intent.  When I think that thought, I become angry and vengeful.  I start having feelings I don’t want to have as a parent because they lead to more angry and vengeful situations.  When I think of my child as being discouraged, I feel compassion.  It softens my heart.  It makes me more loving and patient.  It keeps me in line with my parenting intentions, so I don’t do things I regret later.  This method of child discipline keeps you grounded in love.  When you come from love, you are coming from the most powerful position on the planet.  It is a pure and noble position of strength.  Your children will feel it, and more importantly, you will feel it.

Positive Discipline clarifies your intention.

My intention was to have positive, successful, responsible kids.  So I wanted a way of disciplining children that would help me create that result.  To achieve a particular result, you must be clear about what you want, and then follow a plan to get there.  It helps when other people have walked that path before you and can teach you how to create that result.  When I first heard about Positive Discipline, I thought to myself, I want positive kids, so Positive Discipline sounds like a match.  As I studied, and more importantly, applied Positive Discipline, I found that it was a match.  I felt great using its methods.  It felt great knowing that what I was doing was designed for a positive outcome.  Just having a name for what you are doing helps you to be clear about your intention.  Your kids are relying on you to be clear so that you can support their growth and development.

If you would like to know more about Positive Discipline and how it aligns with being a Present Parent, where you are fully present for and with your kids, just fill in the box in the upper right corner of this page.

Read More

httpv://youtu.be/cLtT3q6OKrA

Parents Help Children Get Ready For Kindergarten

How can you help your child get ready for kindergarten?  Barbara Allisen has the answer.  I had a chance to chat with Barbara, a kindergarten teacher, author, and speaker.  She helps parents and care givers support children ages 0-6 years old to be powerful learners.

We had a wonderful conversation about how kids can get ready for kindergarten, and I came home with an autographed copy of her book, 123 Kindergarten.  Thank you, Barbara, for your generosity!

What Does It Take To Be Ready For Kindergarten?

It turns out that being ready for kindergarten is not about knowing your letters and numbers.  It is about inspiring a love of learning, curiosity, and confidence in our children.  The heavy push for academics and scholarly settings for preschool may have some fans, but remember that success and being ready for kindergarten, and then eventually college, is most closely correlated with a love of learning, knowing how to learn, and confidence in their ability to learn.

In her book, Barbara talks about self-help skills and emotional readiness, communication skills and language readiness, social skills, physical development, and academic readiness.  There is quite a bit involved in being ready for kindergarten.

Barbara has a host of resources to help parents help children to be ready for kindergarten.  Her website is 123Kindergarten.com, and every day on her blog, she posts a “Play of the Day”.  For those of us (meaning me) who are play-challenged, the “Play of the Day” is a great head start.  She also has a Radio Show on Mondays at noon Eastern called “Learn and Play with Mrs. A” on the Rockstar Radio Network.

I recorded a short video with Barbara so you can get a sense of her passion and spirit.  She wears her mission on her sleeve, literally.  Well, actually it’s not on her sleeve, but on her clothing.  You will see ABCs and 123s on her apparel because she is a living, breathing testament to success and being ready for kindergarten.  Those letters and numbers are also an invitation to parents to engage her in conversation about this topic which is so important to her.  She wants every child to succeed and is giving parents and care givers the tools to support them.

The tools are there for you.  Give your children what they need to be ready for kindergarten.

To get access to parenting resources, to find out how to be ready for kindergarten or to increase your presence as a parent, just fill in the box in the upper right corner.  We wish you all the best in your journey as a parent.

Read More

httpv://youtu.be/TYjwKUTzKVk

Entrepreneur Moms Meet Up

One of the best things about attending professional conferences is meeting great people.  I realize that moms meet up with many different people, but when two entrepreneurial moms meet up, magic happens.
One amazing mom entrepreneur is Martha Sanchez, radio personality and speaker.  Her radio show, KnowTheRadioShow.com, is on Tuesday at 7:00 pm Eastern, and she is committed to empowering women one topic at a time.

Martha has had a wide variety of guests on her show.  She covers many different business topics, and she also touches on other aspects of a mom’s busy life, including fitness and life balance.  She specializes in taking mommies to moguls, helping moms to experience their creative power and financial independence by taking the passion in their hearts by taking it to the market place.  She makes sure that moms meet up with other moms to support their dreams.

When Entrepreneur Moms Meet Up, What Do They Do?

 Get Contact Information

The first thing Martha and I did was exchange business cards.  We were both coming back from a break, and I overheard her talking about her business, her radio show, and her work to empower moms.  I knew that she was someone I wanted to know more about.  The break was just about over, and we were being called back into the meeting room to take our seats.  I wanted to make sure I didn’t lose track of her among 400 other people.  I approached her and asked for her business card.  This way I knew that even if we didn’t get to connect at the event, I could reach out to her afterward.

Acknowledge Each Other

The next day of the conference, I saw her and figured it was a good idea that us moms meet up.  I found her during a break and quickly struck up a conversation.  I made sure I acknowledged her.  We were both entrepreneurs following our passion and purpose.  We were both moms helping moms.  How could I not acknowledge her?  She received that gracefully.  Then she said she liked my outfit.  It felt synergistic to be in the presence of a confident, purpose-driven, like-minded person.

Help Each Other

Knowing that my clients appreciate resources like Martha and her radio show, I quickly recorded a video interview with her.  With the video posted on my blog and YouTube channel, we both benefit.  Who knows what other opportunities there may be to work together and share our messages to a broader audience.

Exciting things happen when moms meet up, especially when they have a lot in common.  If you would like to know more about how being an entrepreneur helps you be more present for your children, please fill in the box in the upper right of this page.

Read More

One of My Recommended Parenting Websites - Parenting 2.0

I was searching for parenting websites when I discovered the LinkedIn Parenting 2.0 Group.  When the group’s name flashed up as a search result, it resonated with me instantly and piqued my curiosity.  I clicked over to see what the top ranked parenting group on LinkedIn was all about.
Not only were they an active online community, but I was excited to find that they were also having a conference, Parenting 2.0 Talks, in San Diego.  I wanted to be a part of it.  I reached out to my contracts to put me in touch with Parenting 2.0.org’s Founder, Marlaine Cover also known as Mama Marlaine.
In our first conversation, we hit it off.  We talked about the cacophony of life skills educators and parenting websites that were so valuable but yet unheard.  We hoped to find a way for educators to link arms to reach people more effectively with the resources and skills they needed and wanted for raising the next generation.
When we met for Parenting 2.0 Talks, it was eye-opening.  I was amazed to learn from many powerful, passionate life-skills educators who were both united by mission and vision yet uniquely equipped and specialized.  I was delighted to share my teachings with them as well.  We all spoke the same language of transforming the world through the advancement of life skills in our homes and communities.

One Among Many Parenting Websites

When I founded Present Parent Training, I was the only one in my circle, in my entire network, teaching empathy, non-judgment, non-violent communication, prosperity consciousness, life skills, and life mastery.  While I am still the only one that does it in my voice, in my style, and based on my experience, I now know that I am not alone in wanting to change the world, starting with myself and my kids.  I am one among many parenting websites who are uniquely sharing the same vision.
Parenting 2.0’s humanitarian arm is the Global Presence, a growing community of not just educators, but everyone who wants to make a difference in the life of a child.  I am honored to be a Founding Member of this beautiful organization.  If you are serious about equipping kids with the life skills they need to succeed, then take the Global Presence Pledge.
The Global Presence Pledge:
I pledge to be the change I wish to see in the world.
I pledge to celebrate diversity and nurture community.
I pledge to think globally and serve locally.
I pledge to nurture peace in homes and between nations.
I pledge patience and optimism with myself and others as we learn to thrive individually and commune optimally.
I pledge to own my role in raising future generations.
I pledge to respect the fragility and dignity of my planetary home.
I pledge to honor the divine wisdom of myself and others.
I pledge to support the Global Presence Community in thought, word and deed.
I pledge humility in my role as a member of The Global Presence.
I pledge gratitude for the opportunity to link arms with others in service to humanity.

If you are interested in taking your parenting to the next level and learning about more empowering life skills educators and parenting websites, please fill in the box in the upper right corner of this webpage.  We look forward to raising humanity collectively and consciously!

Read More

Kids LA Marathon and Communicating with Children about Winning

About the Kids LA Marathon

Our eight year-old son ran in the annual Rod Dixon’s KidsMarathon at Dodger Stadium along with 5,000 other Los Angeles Unified School District elementary students.  He won!  So did the 5,000 other students.  The theme was “Finishing is winning.  Winning is finishing.”
The event was a one mile run.  Hey, we were not about to subject these 2^nd, 3^rd and 4^th graders to anything like next week’s LA Marathon.  How does one mile equal a marathon?  All week, they have been running at their home schools, racking up over 25 miles, and this was their final mile out of the 26.2.  It was run in grand style, covered by network news, and celebrated with cheers, beautiful replica medals, and goodie bags.

Communicating with Children About Winning

My primary intention was for my son to practice being a good sport, and secondly, to have fun.  Then, it struck me.  What would it mean to him, or to me, if he actually won? What parent wouldn’t want their child to win the Kids LA Marathon?
I took a minute to assess whether my son actually had a chance of winning.  He is an excellent runner.  His coach told me that she has to tell him to stop running because he enjoys it so much.  He says he is one of the fastest runners at school.
On the way to the race, I entertained thoughts of him leading the pack and crossing the tape.  That was until we hit four lanes of bumper to bumper traffic entering the stadium.  The masses of people jarred me back to reality.  We parked.  Then checked in.  Then we waited.
We decided to interview our young athletes.  They were excited.  We wanted to plant that seed and introduce the possibility of winning.  We asked them what their strategy was for winning.  At that point, the coach interrupted with “Finishing is winning.  Winning is finishing.”  We planted another seed and asked if they were going to finish strong.  Yes!  We asked if they would help their teammates finish strong together.  Yes!  We asked if they would do their best.  Yes!  They were all smiles.  They were ready.
As the students were lining up at the starting line, track and field champions greeted and encouraged them.  The opening ceremony was thrilling.  Finally the first wave of students, fourth graders, took their marks.  Then, the race was on, and a flood of a thousand kids in their white Kids LA Marathon shirts took off.  It felt like the biggest race of the year.

Winning Phrases

The first kids crossed the finish line.  They were really amazing.  I yelled out, "You're awesome!"  Then I caught myself.  In the heat of the moment, evaluative praise had leaked from my lips.  That was not how I wanted to be communicating with children.
I became conscious and chose my words deliberately.  Instead of rewarding them with evaluative praise like "good job," "you're such a good runner," or "I'm proud of you," I chose phrases like:

• "That was so fast!"
• "That took a lot of power!"
• "You did it!"
• "Congratulations!"
• "Yay!" "Wow!"  "Woohoo!"

Communicating with children this way builds internal motivation.  It helps children reflect on their own accomplishments, what it took to achieve what they did, and what their accomplishments and efforts mean to them.  Contrast that with praise (verbal doggie biscuits) that has kids looking externally to their parents or coaches for validation that they did well, that they are good enough.  Even though the parents around me chuckled and gave me quizzical looks when I said the first two phrases, I didn't care.  I knew I was speaking the language of winners.

I hope this article about the Kids LA Marathon and Communicating with Children about winning was helpful to you.

If you would like to learn more about communicating with children in an empowering way, please enter your name and email in the box in the upper right corner of this page to receive my Present Parent Special Report.

Read More

Love Extravagantly While Disciplining Children

In this season of love, I encourage you to love your children extravagantly. By that, I don’t just mean being generous in giving gifts, words, time, acts, or cuddles as you are able. I mean love extravagantly with your commitment to disciplining them. What does love have to do with disciplining children? Everything!

Discipline originally meant “instruction given to a disciple”. Its modern meanings include “training to act in accordance with rules,” and “activity, exercise, or a regimen that develops or improves a skill.” In the parenting context, discipline often means punishment, but it doesn't have to. The best discipline instructs a child to reflect on her behavior and decide for herself how to make an adjustment for more desirable result. It is teaching, not telling, prompting, not punishing, that leads a child to govern themselves.

Loving extravagantly while you discipline, teach, and empower your child makes you more successful as a parent. Here’s how:

1. Love Keeps You Calm Thomas Jefferson said, “Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.” When my child is having a meltdown, it does not help for me to have a meltdown right beside her. Your child is looking for ways to manage her emotions. Having a trusted adult demonstrating calm, compassionate, unshakable love and empathy is reassuring and gives them a safe center to come back to after the emotions are worked out. You can teach most effectively when you both are calm.

2. Love Keeps You Focused On Your Intention In the heat of the moment, you might react from fear of danger, fear of other people’s opinions, or fear of what your child’s future might be. Imagine your child is not coming when called, not eating their food, or hitting a sibling. You could react, but when your intention is to be a balanced, Present Parent, you can avoid the extremes of Authoritarian Parenting and Permissive Parenting. Love can remind you to be both kind and firm as you guide your child to a better outcome.

3. Love Attracts More Love When you are committed to loving extravagantly, you cannot help but attract more love and cooperation into your life. Could you use a little more love and cooperation? All day long, parents give love, but when your little one won’t get into the car seat, you become frustrated and stop giving love. You love again, but when she keeps kicking your seat with her muddy feet, you get angry and stop giving love. You make it to the store, but she starts wailing for candy, and you stop giving love because you feel ashamed.

Recognize when you stop giving love and immediately decide that you will love extravagantly, even in the face of irritation, anger, embarrassment, even physical pain. This is the essence of what I mean by loving extravagantly. Love your child. Love your life. Love every minute of being a parent. You will attract a more loving and wonderful life, and you will attract more cooperation and self-discipline from your child.

Here’s how to create the habit of loving extravagantly. You choose to. It’s that simple, so I’ll say it again. You choose to. You decide to love extravagantly. You decide to give love and loving treatment, even in the face of ill treatment. If you are easily triggered, it is important that you perk up your senses and start listening to your conscience. It is always speaking to you, but it whispers, so you might not easily hear it. It always alerts you with a moment of consciousness, of love, right before you blow up. You get to choose to ignore it or let it guide you. So let it guide you toward love.

As Jane Nelsen says in Positive Discipline, “People do better when they feel better.” Would you like to do better? Would you like your children to do better? Then discipline/teach your children from loving intention. By engaging with consistent boundaries rooted in extravagant love, you take Authoritative Parenting to its next iteration.

How will you love extravagantly today? Please comment below and share the love by passing this along to others.

Read More

Peace, Practice, and Passion on the Playground

At the playground, my almost three year old toddler girl found an apparatus she had never encountered. It was a series of six poles, each with a small circular platform to step on, secured to the ground with a chain that gave it just enough sway to feel unstable.

On her first effort, she proceeded with caution. She made it to the second platform, but an older boy was coming the other way very quickly. He excitedly yelled, “get out of the way!” I wondered what my daughter would do. Without much thought, she lightly went back to the beginning. The boy passed and went onto something else, and my daughter got back on and continued on her way. It was easily resolved. My friend remarked how we would have peace in the world if everyone could work together that well.

I wondered what area my daughter would move on to next. She didn’t. She turned around and got back on again and again and again. She was going for mastery. I wondered how much more might we accomplish when we focus on mastering what we already know instead of quickly jumping to the next new method.

When it was time to go, she cried. She was having fun and was not ready to leave. When we are doing what we love, we won’t want to stop. We will be emotionally connected to what drives us to make a huge impact in the world. If some days you need to be physically removed from the good you are doing, you know you are on track.

Are you as peaceful, practiced, and passionate as your kids?

Read More

Welcome The New Year By Clearing Out Clutter

Some families felt an economic pinch this year and are wondering if the New Year will be any better. I am so grateful that I experienced growth in 2012 in my business, closer relationships, fun adventures, all with surprising life balance. It was our most prosperous year yet.

While there are many ways to bring about a financial turnaround in your life, you want to start with the basics. One fundamental way you can bring more success into your life is to Clear Out Clutter. This is a very simple thing to do, so simple that you might even shrug it off. Don’t get taken out that easily. Welcome your prosperity, and play with this powerful practice.

How successful do you feel when your house or office is a mess? That mess is a reflection of what is going on inside your head. The cool thing is that it’s a two-way street. When you tidy up in your physical world, you create calm and confidence within. You also bring more harmony to your family life and relationships. Can clearing out clutter actually do that? Yes!

Releasing clutter can be challenging, especially if you have had a significant loss in your life. People who have had a major loss, tend to hold on more tightly. This is a process of trust, in God and in yourself. Clutter is anything you do not love, use, or anything that does not honor who you are. While it might feel like you are in a better position because of all the stuff you have, think of all the extra mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical weight you are carrying because of it. It may have served a purpose before. Ask yourself does it serve a purpose now?

As you release clutter, it may make things easier to think of it as adding to another person’s prosperity. I recently went through my home and released another few bags of clothes, toys, and linens. I felt happy to give what I had to charity and then to experience the lightness and space and ease at home.

If you want to take things a step further, you can intentionally prepare your space to receive more blessings. If you want nice clothes, make sure there is space in your closet and drawers for them. If you want more clients, prepare your files. As you are doing so, imagine what it would feel like to already be that successful, and let that feeling linger.

The New Year is as good a time as any to get your affairs in order. I encourage you to do so, joyfully! Clear out the clutter, make room for everything you want in life, and have the best year ever!

Read More

Authoritative Parenting – Success With Authoritative Parenting

Authoritative Parenting is one of three parenting styles identified by developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind from her 1960s research on preschool-age children and their families.

This parenting style has clear behavioral expectations and boundaries, considers a child’s emotional needs, and communicates in a rational way that teaches instead of threatens. Children who are raised by authoritative parents are more likely to be responsible, well-behaved, academically successful, and socially accepted.

Authoritative parenting is a great illustration of the success principle of choosing “both” instead of “either/or”, and opening up to abundance. You may be familiar with the other two parenting styles. On the strict side is authoritarian parenting, which tends to hold high expectations and demand blind obedience from their children. On the other end is permissive parenting which is very responsive to children yet places few demands or controls on them and neglects opportunities for guidance.

While Authoritative Parenting is often described as a middle ground between those extremes, it’s not. When it comes to parenting, the middle is not a place of advantage. It’s a vague, iffy place that could go either way depending on the circumstances.

I see Authoritative Parenting as incorporating the best of the other two styles and standing proudly with both. The authoritative parent is both warm and firm at the same time. She nurtures her child’s mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical development, but she’s no pushover. She holds the boundaries of safety, social norms, and family values with the strength and dignity that comes from loving intention, instead of reacting from anger, shame, or fear. She turns mistakes into teachable moments, even when she is exhausted, and it would be easier to ignore it or just do it herself. This is a balanced, grounded, proactive style that is willing to put time, energy, and attention into raising a responsible child. Authoritative Parenting is not for wimps.

This style reminds me of the Seal of the United States. If you are wondering what the Seal looks like, pull out your wallet. It’s on your money. You will find an eagle holding an olive branch in its right talon and arrows in its left. This symbolizes a desire for peace combined the ability to do whatever it takes to maintain its values and interests.

Not many of us were raised by an authoritative parent, so it may involve some growth and learning to apply this approach with your kids. I knew I had to consciously integrate this style since I tend toward authoritarian. I wanted to choose my parenting style instead of inherit it. I chose to be an Authoritative Present Parent. You have a choice too, and I hope you choose “both” to be successful in your parenting, in your relationships, and in your life.

Read More

Permissive Parenting – Code For “Bad Parenting”?

Permissive Parenting is described as being emotionally connected to a child but not providing clear structure and boundaries. Boundaries are viewed as supportive, even essential, to a child’s development and self-regulation. On the continuum of parenting styles, it takes a democratic stance of equal voice for parent and child, opposite authoritarian parenting which demands blind obedience.

In my experience, Permissive Parenting is also used by non-research-based observers as a label, a criticism, or a verdict. Whenever I hear someone refer to parents as permissive, I can feel the judgment oozing from their lips. It is almost as if they were judging the kids and the parents as “bad”.

It reminds me of a story where a father boards a subway with seven children who are all acting out. When a person asks him to control his children, he apologizes and explains that they are on their way back from the hospital where their mother just died. Would you characterize this father as being a permissive parent?

Whoever is blameless, cast the first stone. Have you ever been too tired correct? Too discouraged to explain? Too angry to respond with empathy? Too sick to help? I have. Before you cast a stone at me, consider how you are in private as well as in public. Things can change very quickly when you don’t have prying eyes to impress.

Still, we as parents bear the responsibility of protection and guidance of our offspring. The boundaries we hold are in three arenas: safety, societal limits, and family values. We click them into their carseats, dress them a certain way, and feed them green smoothies out of love and the most honorable intentions. When we consistently maintain these supportive boundaries and explain why, we also teach our kids to do the same.

Permissive Parenting is a style. If you find that your parenting style is not giving you the results you want, for you or your child, notice where you can be more firm while remaining loving, connected, and kind. The style that incorporates both connection and boundaries is Authoritative Parenting. Being a Authoritative Present Parent means being loving and firm at the same time, as well as being willing to learn and grow to achieve the results you want.

Whatever your parenting style, remember that you have the power to change and create the experience you desire from your role as a parent. May you experience more joy and fulfillment in your parenting journey.

Read More